The Burden of Not Getting Murdered

Dating and the Audacity of Hope

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Since breaking up with Taco Guy last weekend,

I did what any emotionally mature woman with Wi-Fi would do: I hit the ground running and doubled down on every dating app available.

Right now, I’ve got 3.5 potential suitors in the human/bot vetting phase. (FYI: I fell in lust with a Tinder bot tonight.)

I’m cautiously hopeful. But under the hope, there’s this quiet, insidious fear. Not just the fear of rejection or awkward silences—but the darker, more primal fear that every woman carries when she decides to meet a stranger for dinner: please don’t let this date end up on Dateline.

Security expert and author Gavin de Becker observed in The Gift of Fear that at their core, men fear being laughed at by women, while at their core, women fear being killed by men.